I may actually be getting a little excited....

I may actually be getting a little excited to be having a little baby.

Mostly because I can dress him/her in THESE!

1. Naturally....the Chicago Flag!!!

2. A little joke....haha

My baby will a pacifist like their mommy.

I love internal organs! haha

Maybe my favorite!

Another awesome one

Gotta love Ghandi!

Anyways, life is sure moving fast. I'm still big time adjusting to this huge huge huge life change that I never expected and could have never been ready for. I will be the first to admit I still get bitter and sad when I think about how life is not going my way, but I'm very blessed to have a husband who continually reminds me that life's most wonderful gifts are not always planned out. He shows me cute baby clothes, looks up pregnancy questions, and always makes me sleep on my left side. (apparently you are supposed to do that?) Anyways, although I feel as though I sometimes stepped onto a traumatic episode of Teen Mom, I realize that I have it really good. I have a great job, make a lot more money that i need, have an awesome apartment, a great dog, supportive parents, and most of all a husband who I'm madly in love with more and more everyday...(and who will make an outstanding daddy). Although I realize all these things, I adjust S-L-O-W-L-Y. I still find myself incredibly hesitant to look at baby clothes, talk about nurseries, or try on maternity clothes. I'm fifteen weeks pregnant as of today. I'm eating a little more than I have been, and although I'm still behind on my weight gain, I think I'm doing better. In a few weeks, if I can make myself, I may even have a belly picture to put up on here. (I think that unfortunately I cannot stop this from happening, and yes, a baby is DEFINITELY growing in there!) Anyways, I know that a lot of people are praying for us and we thank you.

Looking at these onesies was a big step for me, Alex said he was proud. ;)

A New Craft From Me to You :)

Candle-Making.

An art.

A craft.

A fun way to make cheap (and cute) presents!

MATERIALS YOU SHALL NEED

1. Whatever little container you want to put your candle in. I went to a thrift store and bought quite a few teacups and saucers to put my candles in. (I thought it would be fun!) and the grand total of all those little cups and such ? $3.00

2. You need microwavable soy wax. You can buy any time of wax you want, and you buy much smaller containers depending on how many you want to make. But the best place to buy this? Michael's! (my fav store ever maybe?) It will run you about 12 dollars.

3. This is optional. But if you want color or smell in your candles you need to get these little guys. They are about two dollars each. The Cinnamon one smells great by the way!

4. You certainly need this! (also at Michaels). You need this to glue the wick to the bottom of the container before you pour the wax in.

5. You need a thermometer. You may not need to buy one if you have an old meat one, or any one you don't use anymore. Just one that goes up to at least 200 degrees F.

Now that you have what you need, it's super easy! Use the tacky wax to glue the wicks (which you buy at michael's too: really cheap!) Hold it down for about thirty seconds with your fingers. If you're using teacups like me, make sure they are already washed out and dried well.

After that, warm up your wax in old microwaveable safe container. You'd probably be best not using a bowl that your husband uses for his food ....because it may be hard to get the wax out! (haha..ooops). You can def. get the wax out with some work though. Depending on the wax you get, the amount of time you warm it up will be different. For me it was about three minutes. You basically are warming it up until it becomes completely liquified. After you take it out (be careful it's super hot!!!) Put the thermometer in it. You want to let it cool to 180 degrees and then put the dye into it. Keep the thermometer in there and let it cool down to 140 before you add the scent. (Do not add more than a few drops of scent to soy candles!) After it's 140 degrees you can slowly pour it into the container with the wick already glued to the bottom. It takes about thirty minutes for it to completely harden. You may want to go over there and make sure that the wick isn't leaning too far to one side. Try to keep it centered. If you made a lot of wax you can make more than one candle at a time.

This will probably happen to you too. The wick will fall over to one side while it's hardening, as long as you catch it in the last stages and center it...you'll be fine.

VOILA! My own little teacup candle!!!!!!!! I love it!

One Red and one white but both delightful! :) I have been burning them on and off for a week now and they are awesome, look great, and will make great gifts! Super fun and people do not believe that you actually made them! Just think of all the fun things you can make candles out of!

If you have any questions, just leave me a comment. I'd love to help!

Happy Crafting!

To Name a Human

To me, naming our first child seems like the hardest most daunting task of this whole shenanigan.

Giving a child a name they will live with the rest of their life.

I have always been and am still against naming my child a common name. I really like names that you hear and you are like "Wait, what?" But then later you grow to truly love them.

Like George Costanza says in the episode "Seven" of Seinfeld.

"Don't all names sound weird the first time you hear them?"

Here are the names that we love for our future offspring. :)

GIRL

1. Scout Harper Retter

2. Willow Scout Retter

3. Harper Emerson Retter

4. Evangeline Emerson Retter

BOY

1. Jude Holden Retter

2. Holden Jude Retter

3. Finnley Holden Retter

4. Jude Sawyer Retter

Let me further explain.

My favorite girl name in the world is Scout. (After Scout Finch in to kill a mockingbird). I never thought about it being a modern child's name until my good friend Hannah had a new niece and they named her Scout. I thought "duh!" That's the greatest name ever.

I also adore the names Willow, Harper, Emerson, and Evangeline.

Harper after Harper Lee (who wrote to kill a mockingbird).

Boy names: Jude is our favorite name and according to my husband, if this baby is a boy, his name will be Jude. (which is exciting by me, cause I have always loved that name). And it would be after the Beatles song. :)

Holden was another boy name that I loved, after who else but Holden Caulfield in the catcher in the rye, my absolute favorite book of all time. We may use it as a middle name though.

Finnley after Huckleberry Finn. :)

Can you tell we like literature names?

Well these our thoughts. What do you think?

Odd

Ever since I found out I was with child (haha) I have craved these fries every single day at 1600 or as you non-hospital people say,,,4pm. My eating habits have been pretty healthy, a lot of salads and fruit for my meals. But as for 1600, I give in to these most days I am at work. And the nasty part? I take ranch dressing mixed with ketchup and drench them in it before devouring it. the funny part? I never really liked french fries before. Just one odd thing.

Baby Retter Update

Now that I am getting a little more used to the fact that we're actually having a baby, I will post some updates and share this link with the loved ones for now. Like I've said before, I'm still not going truly public with all this, it's still a shock, but I do want to keep you all updated.

I had my first real DR. appointment today. It was really long, about two and a half hours all together. The Dr. did a lot of education and answered a lot of my questions. I was a bit worried, on Monday at work I got really dizzy in a patients room and passed out and fell! It was a very scary experience so I was glad to have a DR to ask questions to. (She said I need to eat and drink more, which is pretty obvious I guess). Being nauseated makes it hard to eat for two. One thing that really hit me hard was when the Dr. first started doing the ultrasound she just looked around for a long time, really puzzled. It looked like she couldn't see the baby. Alex and I's first instinct was that I had a miscarriage. It was during that moment that I realized that I would not have been relieved, I would have been devastated; which I think is a good indicator that I'm starting to accept this more and be more excited. But alas, the baby was found and she had a ultrasound technician come in and take lots of pictures. I'm nearly nine weeks, and the baby is due June 19th. That puts me smack dab in my third month (which is still pretty crazy considering we found out two weeks ago!) It also makes me so tired i can hardly function, pretty nauseated all the time, and dealing with other weird symptoms.

But I thought you would want to see the baby.

The little head is on the left and you can see the little body and the left arm and foot. Pretty crazy! We also saw and HEARD the heartbeat which was really really cool. But it looks SO MUCH bigger than our first ultrasound two weeks ago. You couldn't even tell that it was a baby before.

Okay, below is a picture of our fridge. The ultrasound on the bottom is from two weeks ago. That little itty bitty dot inside that black circle is the baby,... now look at the one on the right! It's so much bigger isn't it! i was shocked. Also on our fridge I have a magnet from my mother and sister in law that says "life begins at the end of your comfort zone." And oddly enough, the same day we put up that Alex had a fortune cookie that said "It's not the end yet, let's stay with it!" Haha, so we put those up there to remind us!

Did I mention that I have the most amazing supportive husband ever imaginable? He is never annoyed or short with me even though I've been nothing but freaked out ever since we found out. He has continually shared with me all the positives, and persuaded me that this is a wonderful thing. He also goes out of his way to make sure I'm comfortable, happy, and feeling good. (like right now he's at the grocery store buying ingredients so he can come home and make me some secret noodle recipe that will cure my nausea!) haha, he is the greatest, and this is all so much easier because I have him, and I know no matter what, at least the baby will have an amazing and loving father.

The last thing I'm doing for you:

I'm posing what little a little fetus is doing at this stage...cause it's pretty remarkable.

Your baby is growing like crazy during pregnancy week 9. By now, most of the aspects of your baby's physical structure, such as head, arms, legs, and torso are in place. If you were to peek in on your little one, you'd find they resemble a miniature human being (one with a very large head!). Because your baby's organs and limbs are forming, in the next few weeks, your baby will be putting on weight. Your baby's tail should have disappeared by now, and your baby's organs and muscles should be functioning on their own. It's hard to believe that something so small can function so completely, isn't it!

At 9 weeks pregnant, your baby's eyelids will fuse shut and won't open up again until your baby is about 27 weeks along. Your baby's face is becoming more distinct every day, with the mouth, nose and nostrils becoming clearly visible. Your baby's heart should have divided into four separate chambers now, as your baby swims about gleefully in his or her warm and cozy home.

LOVE YOU ALL! :)

Release

I haven't written any music in a long time. This is sad. But today I picked up Ferris (my washburn guitar) and we spent some time together. Along with many other things, I played a song I wrote a little over a year ago. It has all the elements of a good song. Good (but simple) chords, easy to follow, and maybe even catchy. But what i like about it the very most is the fact that the lyrical value means so much to me. I tried recording it today on my mac and it may have worked, but until then I'll just post the lyrics then I'll explain the lyrics, making me vulnerable, but hey, it's made me stronger :)

The song is called (drumroll please)

Release

Verse 1

You seem to think that it was easy

That's the farthest from the truth

You laid a hand against my face

Said I deserve those things you do

It was too late when I walked out

Found a way out of your arms

But your words taunt me and haunt me

You made love lose all its charm

Chorus

It hurt like hell to let it go X3 (By the way singing this sounds way cooler than reading it!)

Verse 2

You demanded silence for my future

You thought I'd just forget with time

But I still hear the sound of tearing

Tattooed on every angle of my mind

You took my innocence for ransom

THen spilled it all over the floor

Now this gift I have is tarnished

NOt worth giving anymore

Chorus

Verse 3

You were all I thought I wanted

But I had to care for my own soul

I held out longer than I should've

Loosened my grip to his control

Chorus

It hurt like hell to let you go X3

Bridge

It took three years to do it

To break these chains of ungrace

and I could have held on forever

But I'd rather be held in your embrace

Chorus

There's peace when you let it go

Outro:

You seemed to think that it was easy

That's the farthest from the truth.

I'll try to explain it really simply. There has been some crazy bad moments in my life. Some could have been prevented, some not. Verse 1 refers to one specific, but could be more than one incident where I dated a person who was incredibly hurtful during the course of the relationship, so much so that words they have said haunted me for years after, pulling apart my self esteem.

Verse 2 refers to a time in my life where I was in a severely traumatic (not preventable) one time situation that forever changed my life and my identity. I probably do not need to SAY what happened.

Verse 3 refers to a relationship I was incredibly comfortable in and was very soon heading toward marriage, but God slowly nudged my heart and told me it wasn't right (after three years). He was right. I'm now married to a different man and if I hadn't let that go and listened to God, i wouldn't have met my alex and been married to the person I KNOW i'm supposed to be with.

The point of this song is that I can hold onto these pains for as long as I want to. I have a right to use them, to make me cynical, to make me street smart, to scare people with my stories. Or I can say you know what, it's gonna hurt a hell of a lot, but i need to carefully look back on the situation, dissect how it made me feel, then just let go of it. and that's what i did back when I wrote this song. I don't say those things dont' affect me anymore, because they do, but I am not a slave to the memory.

I'll post a happier song later this week!

Wow.

So Alex and I are not sharing this news via facebook yet, cause that would simply go viral. However, on my small tiny blog, which seems more like a private journal than anything...I will share the news.

A little over a week ago, Alex and I found out we are having a baby.

This was so shocking in many ways. First of all, obviously it was not planned. In fact, I had not planned on having children until well into my 30's!

But there are other reasons this is truly shocking.

1. I don't have periods. (blunt, i know). But I have severe endometriosis and I take continuous birth control so I do not get periods at all. So how alex and I could have ever conceived a child is beyond me, him, and the Doctors.

2. My endometriosis has been severe for many years and the scar tissue has built up on my uterus. I have had three different gynocoligests tell me that if I ever want to have a baby, I will either need a lot of surgery, fertility treatments, or a mixture of both.

How we found out:

There was no period to miss. I don't get them! But Last week, I had a long dream which felt very real. In it, I found out I was pregnant. It was the scariest dream ever and sorta my worst nightmare being a new bride and all. So I woke up, rushed to the nearest drug store and bought a cheap pregnancy test. Alex didn't even take it seriously because neither of us that it would ever actually be positive. But there it was, it took about half a second for the plus sign to appear. I showed alex, we were both so shocked in disbelief, i ran to the drugstore to buy a nicer one. That one was also positive, in which I fell to the bathroom floor in tears for hours.

Later that day alex and i went to a free clinic where they did a DR. pregnancy test. It was positive, and I just about freaked out. The scheduled an ultrasound for two days later to see how far it was. We got the ultrasound and actually SAW the baby. It was itty bitty and didn't look like a baby, but we could actually see it's heart beating. I found out then I was nearly SEVEN WEEKS.

Today I am eight weeks pregnant and alex and I are getting used to everything. It's so shocking still and Alex is taking it a hundred times better than me. Our parents and families know and are super excited. My mother in law and sister in law came over today and presented me with a little gift that I magneted to the fridge right over our first ultrasound. It says "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." I thought this was so true. Although wanted to get my doctorate, travel, and spend many years child-less with Alex. God has different plans. And there is no doubt in my mind that this child is a miracle. We welcome God's plan with open arms as we await a brand new chapter in life.

I just ask that anyone who happens to stumble upon this little post would keep this information off of facebook for a few more months. :) thanks.

Pottery Creations

This summer I started doing some pottery again. I will hopefully add more creations later. But here are some of my favorites.

These small precious desert plates were so fun to make. And so easy.

1. use dark clay and roll out a slab

2. Find a flat circular object of whatever size plate you want and cut into the slab

3. Make sure that they are not too thick or thin, just the right size for a plate

4. Find something that has a texture you like. This is where you get to be creative. Either stamp it in or use a rolling pin and (gently) roll the texture onto the clay.

5. Make sure the sides are thick enough all around the plate.

6. Let dry for a few days before heating in the kiln.

7. Color with high glosses, to fall into the textures and come out in different types of shades.

8. Kiln again, and you're done! You have these marvelous little plates! :)

Enjoy!

In regards to this serving dish and coffee cups (I did not make the cups!) My sister Jaci did.

She is far better at pottery than I, as she has been doing it far longer. But I am proud of the little tray that I use to keep the cups on right next to our coffee maker.

1. Roll out a flat slab (thicker this time)

2. Cut out the size of the tray you want.

3. Shape the edges to however you want it, flat or curvy (like mine above).

4. Take small pieces of newspapers and stick it into the curvy parts, to ensure it dries with that form/shape.

5. Glaze how you desire, i thought three different colours would look great, and i do really like it!

This plaque is made in a very similar fashion as what has been talked about before.

I saw a plaque like this hanging in Mrs. Euler's room (the pottery teacher) and wanted one for our bar as well.

It says "Everyone you meet is in a war, be kind." An amazing quote that I thought fit the philosophy i try so hard to live by.

To do this, roll out a slab

Find a circle shape and cut it out. Make sure it's thick. Atleast an inch-and-a half.

Use either stamps or an exacto knife to make letters or drawings.

Glaze letters and drawings with a separate glaze then the rest of the plaque.

I did not make anything to hang this by. instead I just bought a small wooden easel from Ikea ($1) and it sits on our mantel. Love it!

This last one is super easy! Basically the same thing as the circle plaque.

Flat slab and punch in the letters. Couldn't be easier than that.

"Don't make love by the garden gate, love may be blind, but the neighbors ain't"

but alex's aunt recently told me "Do it anyway, the neighbor's are bored!" (wow!) haha

Anyway enjoy and happy crafting!

~Rae

Welcome to our Bar!!! (Before and After Pictures!)

Marcella

So I found an old journal entry I wrote my Senior year of nursing school. After a hard day as a real graduated RN, it was so good to read this. I know I will have hard days, but I was right about it then and I'm still right about it now.

Here's the journal entry....

Today was such a beautiful day at clinical. God taught me so much. I had two patients today. I had a 62 year old man with cirrhosis of the liver due to alcohol abuse and a 68 year old woman with COPD.
In med-surg clinical we as nursing students live for what new tasks we get to do. We hope for a patient who has some sort of procedure that we haven’t done yet so we can do it and learn from it. When everyone gets home from this clinical people ask, “did you put in a catheter,” “did you irrigate a wound dressing?” “How bout NG tubes, did you get to work with those?” There are countless numbers of things to do on medical surgical units, and it becomes our goal and obsession to become exposed to every piece of it. It becomes very easy to become task-oriented instead of people-oriented.
Today God taught me a lesson about this. I was able to perform several tasks alone today. I did two full assessments, helped with physical therapy, assessed ascites in an abdomen, work with abdominal ultrasounds, perform a bladder scan, adjust SCD boots, and other things too. By task-orientated standards I had a very good day.
But that was not what made this day beautiful. But there was something that made this day beautiful. The conversations and time I spent with my patients. I had two very different patients; however both were suffering from chronic diseases that would surely end both of their lives. Talking to my patient with cirrhosis was such a blessing! He was such a goofy man, and also a major abuser of alcohol. But going into his room with a completely non-judgmental attitude was incredibly rewarding. It only took about five minutes for me to warm up to him and for him to understand that I didn’t care why he was sick, what mistakes he made, or whether or not the disease was “his fault.” And I didn’t care. He was MY patient. And more importantly, he is GOD’s child. A man with a bad attitude soon turned warm and precious when I brought up the topic of baseball. We talked about the cubs and the cardinals for a good twenty minutes. I had others things I could have been doing, more important health matters to discuss, but at the moment, I thought the smile on his face was worth denying everything else. Through this man I learned that simple conversation is sometimes the most therapeutic. Patients with cirrhosis are often treated badly because they drink excessive amounts of often still do as their disease progresses. He was one of these patients. He shared with me how much he drank, and how he had no plans to stop. Instead of preaching or throwing health statistics at him, I just listened. I nodded my head a lot and smiled until my face hurt while he talked about funny bar fights he had gotten into. He knew what was making him sick; I didn’t need to tell him that. I simply needed to be there for him and listen like a friend. And he appreciated it so much.
Then there was my sweet Marcella. This beautiful, patient, and sweet client with COPD. She had COPD for smoking excessively since she was a teenager. Multiple packs a day. I was able to walk into her room with the biggest smile on my face even though I knew her prognosis was so awful. She was able to joke and laugh with me. And I really enjoyed it. I didn’t view it as a job, but more like a privilege to be able to talk to this beautiful woman.
As my fellow student nurses rushed up and down the halls looking for new jobs to do or procedures to take part in, I stayed in Marcella’s room. I rubbed her back as she shared cooking recipes with me. I listened to her heart and lungs while she proceeded to tell me stories about her granddaughter. I sat on a chair near her bed and became completely captivated in this woman.
So, the most beautiful and wonderful part of my last day at clinical? It wasn’t an invasive procedure or inserting IVs. It wasn’t taking patients to get lab work done or thinking critically to evaluate therapeutic ranges of medications.

It was washing Marcella’s hair.

I cry as I write this, because i mean that with all my heart. After I had done all my nursing tasks on Marcella I asked her if she wanted to get cleaned up. She nodded her head and told me that she has to sit on a chair and get a sponge bath because her COPD is too bad to take a shower. She rolled her eyes and said, “I just wish I could go home so I could wash my hair, it’s been over a week and I haven’t been able to wash my hair.” Her eyes looked so sad. “It’s such a small thing, and I hate to complain about it, but it just feels awful. But don’t worry, I’ll go home soon enough, and then I can get somebody to wash it.” You see, COPD patients are difficult. They have oxygen tanks attached to them and they wear out so easily. Washing a COPD patient’s hair is not exactly difficult, but it takes time that most nurses don’t have. It isn’t saving a life, so it becomes something that is at the bottom of the list and overlooked.

“Well Marcella,” I said, “I am going to wash your hair today.” Her face glowed and her eyes lit up. She leaned toward me. “You have time for that?...you would do that for me?”

“Of course,” I said. “We will just need to be creative. But I am going to wash your hair today, and comb it and make it look beautiful.” Her smile was so big it hurt me to even look at it.

I gathered up some materials and made a basin of water and soap in the sink. I helped Marcella to the chair and set up her oxygen nearby. I grabbed a friend to hold a basin behind her head so she wouldn’t have to go into the shower or stand up. I took small drinking glasses and filled them with warm water. I covered her eyes with one hand and slowly poured the water over her hair. I touched her forehead and fought to keep water off of her face. I grabbed baby shampoo and started putting on her hair. As my fingers stroked back and forth against the oiliest hair I had every felt, I heard Marcella sigh. “I can already smell it, it smells so good.”

I rinsed her hair and dried her off. I gently combed through it and styled it in just the way she wanted. I told her how beautiful she looked, and I really, really, meant it. She looked so beautiful. As I looked into her deep grey eyes, I felt tears forming in mine. I was looking into the face of the one that Jesus loved. I didn’t see a patient, an old woman, or a task. I saw what Jesus saw. I saw the most beautiful person on the face of the planet.

I helped her back into bed and she expressed to me how grateful she was. I hugged her and held her tight, telling her it was my pleasure to serve her.

I thought about this experience. As a nurse, what is our job? Is it to save lives? Prolong life? Treat ailments? I don’t think it is. I think our job is just simply to love. Love deeply and love with humility. After three years of nursing school, washing hair doesn’t seem that exciting. But it was what she needed. It was the greatest thing I could do for her to show her love. And isn’t that my job? Whether through conversation or actions, to be continually not only assessing for disease, but being assessing for ways to show the utmost love to my patient? The act was simple. But the lesson was great. There is no job that is too small. There is always an opportunity for me to humble myself and be a servant. Sometimes the smallest of acts show the greatest of love.

Another student came in at the end of shift with me and asked Marcella how she was doing.
“This little nursing student washed my dirty disgusting hair today. Look how clean and beautiful it looks! Being with this student was like seeing a little piece of heaven.”

I smiled as I fought back the tears, knowing deep down for me, being with her was like seeing the whole thing.

LET IT OUT

I was thinking today about my old girl's group that I started a few years ago in college. It was amazing and I miss those girls soo incredibly much. I basically started this group for girls who have been hurt or abused. Going through some abuse myself, my teacher/counselor told me an effective way to help was to help others. Thus, became my tuesday night girl's group. I will never forget the first night, none of us had ever met, we all ate my burnt cookies sitting around the floor of my apt. I opened it up with these two videos. The whole idea is that we were there to listen to eachother, let it out. What ensued from then on was beautiful and getting touched by some of the most amazing souls I've ever met. I love you girls.

The Rescue Aftermath

About a year and a half ago, some friends and I joined with thousands of others across the globe to "abduct ourselves." Sleep outside, and raise awareness about the Invisible children in Africa. If you don't know about invisible children by now, please look up the documentary and watch it! It's less than hour of your time and it's amazing. I have been to several Invisible Children events throughout the years, but the Rescue was the most recent and caused the most ruckus. This is the video that was put together afterward. Because of all of us, it is now LAW to stop the war in Uganda. We did it, after several struggling years. This video makes me so emotional because American people stopped caring about themselves and joined together for these children. It's about time.

The Rescue Aftermath from INVISIBLE CHILDREN on Vimeo.

There are those who expect the unexpected
There are those who cast their vote for hope
Those who believe that good will triumph over evil
We are those people.
We are the masses.
misfits. moguls .media.

We are abducting ourselves.
To pose the question to our leaders:
Is their life as valuable as ours?

We are shaping human history
by closing the divide between
awareness and action

This is about redefining our role in the world
Putting PURPOSE before PROFIT
It's about ending the Longest running war in Africa
Setting precedent for justice, and finishing what was started.
We are here to amplify the chorus of their cries
Rescue Joseph Kony's Child soldiers

Deliver your voice, and discover how it ends.

Keep up with current events. Keep up with Invisible Children at


Remember, we were not put on earth to please ourselves, we are here with the sole purpose of helping others. It's not about me. :)

How "This American Life" Saved Talk Radio

The only talk radio I used to listen to was WGN to figure out if the Dan Ryan or Kennedy expressway I was on would ever let up and allow me to get to my destination. I mean sure I liked the occasional news story or sports update, but why would I put it on by choice for my entertainment?!

That has all changed. A couple years ago, (which wasn't soon enough) I was introduced to the radio show "This American Life" on NPR. This got me started on the talk radio obsession. This American life was just the beginning, I began searching for enjoyable shows all throughout the radio world.

But still, even now, after I am much experienced in the talk radio genre, This American life still remains in my opinion, unrivaled.

If you have NO IDEA what This american life is....

Let them explain it to you. This is from their website:

"One of our problems from the start has been that when we try to describe This American Life in a sentence or two, it just sounds awful. For instance: each week we choose a theme and put together different kinds of stories on that theme. That doesn't sound like something we'd want to listen to on the radio, and it's our show.

So usually we just say what we're not. We're not a news show or a talk show or a call-in show. We're not really formatted like other radio shows at all. Instead, we do these stories that are like movies for radio. There are people in dramatic situations. Things happen to them. There are funny moments and emotional moments and—hopefully—moments where the people in the story say interesting, surprising things about it all. It has to be surprising. It has to be fun."

And oh yes is it fun. My husband Alex and I usually scramble to Itunes every monday to update our podcast list to make sure we get the new episode quickly. We often savor the episode, saving a special time to listen to it. It's like a favorite TV show, but in my opinion, much, much better.


So now, without further ado:


MY FAVORITE EPISODES: the ones i laughed so hard i peed, teared up so much it caused stains, or smiled so long it hurt:

#203: Recordings for Someone: : The little mermaid bit is one of the best TAL moments. Period.
#407: The Bridge: Amazing story through and through.
#403: NUMMI: More tragedy than comedy, but about a car factory in CA that captures what has gone wrong with American cars. Why are they STILL not as good as foreign cars?! AWESOME AWESOME STORY!

#394: Bait and Switch: Bait cars? tricks? traps? love it!

#213: Devil on MY shoulder: The idea of a "hell house" is so repulsive to me, i can't stop listening.

#233: Classifieds: LOVE IT! love the rocket man song so much, you can't even believe it!
#317 Unconditional Love: I cry so much. So beautiful
#352: The Ghost of Bobby Dunbar: Perhaps my favorite history story on TAL
#339: Break-up. What's not to love about this episode? Phil Collins? oh yes.

I'm a new RN. This is my Life.

This is my Life, now that I'm a neurology nurse.

5:00 AM: ALARM! (oh my gosh, seriously?!) I'm exhausted! Always!
5:04: Get ready for the day, shower, scrubs, coffee, oatmeal.
5:45: Think to myself....Hmmm....dry my hair or lay back in bed??????
5:46 Lay back in bed with Alex til' about 6:13
6:13: Gather my RN things: stethoscope, pager, name badge, penlight, hemostats, etc etc etc. Fill my pockets of my scrubs.
6:30: Go wait for the bus
6:35: Get on the bus (either the 18 or 60), whichever comes first.
6:36 Try to read the paper while sipping on my coffee
6:46: Transfer to a different bus on Michigan avenue
7:00: Arrive at work! (nice short commute!) gotta love that!
7:05: Finish my coffee and organize myself for the day.
7:15: Print out medication sheets for each of my patients so I can see their medication schedule for the day. On each piece of paper I write body systems...so when I take report I can write about how each individual body system is doing:
Example: John Doe:

c/c:
hx:
neuro:
resp:
cardio:
Gastric:
G/U:
Skin:
Pain:
Plan:
Lines:

7:30: Safety Huddle. The night charge nurse comes in and tells us all about the "red alerts" Patients who are at risk for falls, skin breakdown, or something of that nature.

7:35: Go to my part of the unit that I'm assigned to that day. Today? Stepdown-ICU.
7:40: Find the night nurse who has my patients and get report on how they are doing and what they need that day. (Fill out my body system page)
Example of what it would look like filled out:

c/c: 48 YOM c/o dizziness, SOB, weakness in BUE. MR shows acute infarct in left pons.
Hx: hyperlipidemia, HTN,
Neuro: A0x3, pupils 3mm and brisk, nystagmus, BUE: 4/5 BLE: 5/5. Sensation intact.
Cardio: NSR w/ 3 PVC's. SOB/chx pain. PRN Nitro STAT EKG ordered.
Resp: diminished resp sounds. trach collar shiley 6 5L at 28%H.
G: BLM: 10/6/10. Normal sounds.
GU: Foley, amber output
SKIN: LD/ staple cranio
Pain: NORCO Q2H PRN
PLAN: TTE with bubble study, hormone labs at 8AM, Troponin levels.
LINES: 60 NS RPIV 20G inserted yesterday

So then I have to take that information for each patient and priortize my day.

8:00 I look up all the recent notes Physicans have ordered/written. I want to get a good understanding of who my patient's are, why they are here now, and what I can do to make them better. I spend from 8:00-8:45 (most days) looking through charts (all online) to get a good idea of how I want to organize my day. This is so important!!!!!!
Without organization, any new RN can FAIL!

8:45-10:00: I start visiting my patients. I write on their whiteboard, my name, the plan, etc. I do my first BIG assessment on each of them. Because this is a NEURO floor I focus on a neuro assessment. But I also assess many other things about them. Whatever is important to their care. I also give all morning meds at this time, which can take a lot of time and effort. I also look at each patient's rhythm strip and interpret it. I write down the rhythm, PR interval and QRS interval then put it in their chart.

I get on the computer and chart after I see each patient, I fill out large assessments, how they are moving around, how their IV lines look, and what sort of education I provide.

10:00 MY patient in my last room has a Lumbar drain to drain CSF from their spinal cord. I have to manually drain teh fluid every hour. 20cc's. I take vital signs and carefully monitor the patient at this time. He also a PEG tube, tube feedings, a wound vac, a prafo boot, a trachostomy, and is immobile and nonverbal. He is my big care patient for the day. I DO EVERYTHING for him. And I will be in the room every hour on the hour. No matter what. I need to drain him on the hour. I notice that his oxygen sats are falling while doing my assessment. I stop my assessment, put his HOB up and trach and oral suction him while using the ambu bag to hyperventilate. His stats go back up to 99-100. I feel great about that.

11:00: Drain. The DR's round and i try to go to with them to see what decisons they are making so I can have input too. Nice Docs will ask me for my input, mean ones don't ask but I give it anyway. I consider myself a patient advocate. I go around to all my patients again for a second neuro assessment. I turn my patient with the trach. turn him every two hours with my PCT Mary.

12:00 Drain, take vital signs, make sure the patient's get lunch. Get a transfer patient from the ICU. Call down to NICU to get report. Stay on hold for too long. A DR asks me where MRI results are. Not my job ,but i'll find them. After report I call MRI and stay on hold with them too. Meanwhile, finish some charting.

1:00: Drain, Another assessment, put in orders. Make sure patients are seen by therapies. Record I and O's. Admit my new patient. Set him up in the room with his family. Do a lot of education. Do a good initiual assessment. The DR. orders dozens of labs, all of which I will collect.

2:00 Drain. Get blood samples from my new patient, also urine specimens. Send those down to lab. Give my pager to another nurse and go in the other room to eat my lunch. I get half an hour. Just enough time to check my phone and realize Alex has been locked out of the house all morning! :( Go back to the floor, read new notes. Realize another patients glucose level is too high. Look for his insulin. Pharmacy never brought it up. Order his insulin. Call and complain they never brought it up. Steal someone else's insulin to give to him. (he needed it!)

3:00: Drain. Neuro assessments again! More tests, flushing Peg tubes, increasing tube feedings, suctioning again. call dietary for a consult for a patient with bad eating habits.

4:00: Drain. Call the patient education line and tell them I want a video shown to my patient about stroke risk factors. Get that set up and set up a question and answer session with a family about stroke. CHART.

5:00: Drain. Assessment again! Start giving evening medications. Pt complains of chest pain and doesn't have PRN meds for that. Page a resident. resident visists. Orders stat EKG and lab levels. I perform those labs, take those blood tests and assist in the EKG.

6:00 Drain. Patient has a TTE and I'm at the bedside doing the "bubble test" with the tech. Give medication if parameters allow. Finalize the report I need to write to give to the night nurse.

7:00 Last neuro assessment. VS/ recheck all orders. Update my SBARS. Tie up any loose ends.

7:30 Give report to night nurses. decide to change the draining system last minute. Realize we are all out on the floor and go down to ICU to borrow it. IT takes a while to do it.

8:30: Alex texts me, he's here to pick me up. Where am I?
8:31: Just getting done. Clean up everything, say goodnight, swipe out!
9:00 Get home, eat some delicious dinner Alex made.
9:15: We take dexter out together.

After that,,, I usually fall asleep! That's a short summary of my day, in reality we do a lot more. But I thought this would give a good idea to those who ask me what we do!

Being an RN is a lot of work, and working with life and death is stressful! But who else gets to experience mankind at their most delicate moments?

Now, I'm off to sleep. TO do it again tomorrow.
Goodnight!

REAL SIMPLE AKA MY FAVORITE WEBSITE

101 New Uses for Everyday Things | Real Simple

Let's Talk about KIVA!

www.kiva.org

The story of a KIVA loan


Wow. What an amazing company. You donate money to offer small business loans to companies in other countries. Alex and I got this as a wedding gift from one of my dear friends Aimee Tarr. With the money we were able to make two small loans to two different companies.

One was a Liberian group called "Unity for Peace" which is essentially a thrift store in Liberia.
We love thrift stores so we lent them money.

http://www.kiva.org/lend/229834

The other was a farming group in Cambodia:

This village bank loan consists of twenty people who live in Svay Pang Ankrang village in Kandal province. Mrs. Phalla Oem, 35, is the village bank president. She was selected for this role by the other members, who will use their portions of the loan to support their different businesses. Mrs. Phalla Oem and her husband, Mr. Ra Tith, are farmers who own a plot of land on which they cultivate leeks and bananas. The couple have four children; three are farmers and the other is a fruit seller in the local market. They work very hard to support their family. They will use the requested loan from AMK to buy fertilizer for their farm.

http://www.kiva.org/lend/219045

So if your are looking for somewhere wonderful to donate your money, KIVA is it :)

Honeymoon Roadtrip Summary!

I find myself writing for the first time since the honeymoon.........
I stopped blogging on the actual honeymoon as I stopped finding internet the further west we moved. We were gone for three weeks. Here are the highlights after what I already blogged:
We hung out in arches national park in Moab Utah for a day (above and below)
Went accidentally off-roading. Had a picnic in a parking lot. (again). and took in the beautiful landscape! wow.



This beautiful picture is taken about an hour outside of salt lake city driving from southeast Utah. What a beautiful drive! wow. i recommend it. except for when our car top carrier opened, things blew way down the highway and we had to track them down....lol

Stayed in a hostel in salt lake city. Drove the temple, ended up ordering pizza and watching shark week on my computer in our little bunk bed! That hostel had sooo many rules though.

We had to stop at the giant salt lake......I told alex it is true, it's so salty YOU FLOAT when you go in....so we had to try.

AFTER THE "SWIM" in the disgusting salt lake. We literally power washed each other down and we still smelled. But...we did float. :) We then proceeded to drive across NV, and ended up where anybody driving across northern NV hopes to end up........



and we gambled in RENO....lived large and stayed in the EL dorado...which is actually really cheap. lol. after a night and morning of gambling,,,we broke even and got a free dinner out of it! we're just that good.

After Reno we headed to CA, our stop would eventually be crescent city. Along the way we see Mount Shasta......

We also stop in Weed, CA. Where we no joke, get offered weed by some folks at a gas station. (we politely decline). We also see a lady in a wheelchair beat up a man. (crazy). and we also aid a victim of domestic violence (sort of) by helping her hide behind a bush. lol. That was a crazy city.
the next morning in crescent city, we found ourselves tunneling through a hollowed out redwood

we then went to an aqaurium where he asked for volunteers. I volunteered, but because i was older, he made me lick a sea anemoe, which injected poison into my tongue and made me drool. ha. i also pet a shark.

this seal was so cute!

Just hanging out in the redwoods on our favorite stump. Right before a lady broke her ankle on a trail and we had to come to the rescue!

That night we hung out at the campground, met some hitchhikers, who were absoultely lovely to talk with......and "shotgunned" PBRs with them. we had a great time and they were excellent company. the next morning i left them a bottle of wine with this note: "Tom and Amy, thanks for shotgunning PBRs with us. enjoy this wine and feel classy! Stay adventurous and never settle down completely! Enjoy the journey. See you in another life. Cheers. Rae and Alex"